Big Bag of Goodies

I got lotsa links for you, eh?

Red Ball: Apart from the enjoyable thrashings going on in South Africa (the Aussies going for 5-0 starting this arvo, and Smith is out for the final Test), there's some equally enjoyable matches on the Subcontinent.

As we know, the Poms won a Test against a real side for the first time since The Ashes, but the ODI's aren't going well. They failed to chase 203 (in fact, fell 39 runs short), and the hero of the match was Harbajan Singh. He was brought on when Freddy and Pietersen were looking the goods, and managed to 4 for 9 in 6 overs. See, that's a bowling change, Punter.

Speaking of Mick Lewis, sanity has finally prevailed, and he's been dropped from the side to tour Bangladesh. Even better, he's been replaced by a genuine young talent in Dan Cullen.

Still on cricket, Punter's century in both digs last week has everyone singing about him - this blogger included. Check his stats at Cricinfo and you'll see what I mean. He's now 9th on the all-time list, and with the best average of the lot. He'll become the best Aussie batsmen ever with another 2600 runs (to give you an idea, he scored 1544 in 2005, and 1503 in 2003. By then, it'll be a battle between Lara, Tendulkar and himself to see who retires the best. Awesome.

Finally, the ICC has confirmed that a Twenty20 World Cup will happen pretty soon. Mick Lewis will soon be named captain of the Australia side, due to his superior economy rate. Interestingly, the ICC has called it an "invitational", but participation will be "mandatory".

Oval Ball: Anyway, who cares about cricket when the footy's back! Went to the game last night, but honestly can't work out whether West Coast were good, or St Kilda were bad (in fact, they played like a bunch of spastics). At least my predictions are looking good (i.e. Chad Fletcher to go missing this season, never to recover from a horrible finals series last year, and Beau Waters by Round 15 to be the first player picked every week).
Cox was unbelievably good, justifying Sheahan selecting him 9th in his 50 Most Important Players.

And how's this for a headline: "Archer Admits 'Living on Tablets'". Replace Archer with Gardiner, and it's suddenly not news. Simpson's Quote:

Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'.

Round Ball: You ever seen a young kid riding a bike or skateboarding or something, and they go over a little ramp or bump or something and land it. Then, they get so full of ridiculous confidence that they then try and jump a 10-storey building? Funny, eh? So, replace 'kid' with Justin Madden (Victorian Minister for Commonwealth Games), 'bump' with Comm Games, and '10-storey building' with FIFA World Cup 2018. Hilarious!
In sad news (which everyone already knew), Guus won't be 'round in July.

Misc: Rose Porteous had a stroke. Wasn't that about 20 years ago? No? Well how the hell else do you explain her?

Hilarious George Bush puppetry. You can lose hours in this, and it's so damn satisfying.

In obvs news, everyone hates Tom Cruise.

Finally, if this is the only blog you read, then you gotta get out more. Folks have been doing this sh*t for years now, and one of the first ones I ever read was The Modern Age. The author, Laura, is just the sweetest thing, and everyone who reads her knows. So, how do you explain some anonymous f*cker needlessly calling her a sl*t in one of her recent posts? Everyone get on there and post some heat back at this c*cksuker!

While you're there, check her link to the weirdest News Broadcast ever.

Thanks, Adam