Blogs Are So 2005

Diary: Weekend 03-05 October 08

2008-10-14T04:52:00.003+08:00

Fri 03 October

Met J at The Spotted Horse in Putney for an after-work pint. One of my favourite pubs. So cosy.
Dinner at old favourite Il Mascalzone. Any wishes for a cheap meal went out the window when she saw the Lobster Linguine on the menu.
Headed home kinda early, but a full-on Guitar Hero tournament with J and L meant sleep was some time away...

Sat 04 October

J had a full-day course, so a quiet day
Had a birthday dinner for a friend at Blue Elephant. As I've said before, I can't honestly tell the difference between cheap and expensive Thai. Nonetheless, it was great. The banquet made ordering easy, too (always a hard thing with a big group)
Wandered from there to the Cock & Hen - definitely one of the nicer pubs around Fulham Broadway. Good weissbeers on tap too. They kicked us out at closing time (midnight, I think???)
We could have left it there, but the group was up for more, so we went to the Sugar Hut. It definitely wasn't this loud last time, was it?!?! Had a good laugh, though, but the drinks were terrible (Russian-babe bar staff weren't hired for their bartending skills...)

Sun 05 October

Bugger all!

Diary: Weekend 26-28 September 08

2008-10-03T23:45:00.003+08:00

Fri 26 September

Was travelling back from the North-West during the afternoon
Dinner at Reun Thai, Fulham. Nice, but I have to be honest and say that I can't tell the difference between cheap and expensive Thai...
Drinks at Distillers, Fulham for Angelina's going away. I like this place, despite what the review said

Sat 27 September

Was up far too early to watch the GF. Great game, brilliant to watch. Well worth getting up at 5:30 on a Saturday.
Had planned to go to the DMC World Champs, but couldn't rustle together a group.
Instead, we finally visited Wandsworth Bridge Rd, which we'd ridden past on the bus a million times. We settled for Il Pagliacco. This place is almost a caricature of Italian restaurants (waiters shouting, pizzas getting thrown etc). It feels a little contrived and a bit "Menu Turistico", but the actual menu isn't too bad, with a couple of dishes out of the ordinary. We might come back, but I wouldn't rush back (we can get similar quality food without the histrionics at Il Mascalzone)

Sun 28 September

Nice and quiet...
Plenty of TV (including a Weeds marathon)

Diary: Weekend 19-21 September 08

2008-09-28T06:27:00.002+08:00

Oktoberfest!

Fri 19 September

A quiet one in preparation for a loud weekend...

Sat 20 September

Got to Heathrow about 14:00, snuck in a quick pint before boarding the plane
Arrived in Munchen about 18:00 (local), train to the hotel, checked-in and met the crew (10 of us) for dinner
Grabbed the first stein at Augustiner Keller about 20:00, and followed it with an awesome roast pork, another stein, and another 2 pints downstairs in the (very cool) cellar. Unsurprisingly, the night decended towards farce quite quickly (see Facebook photos for proof) and stumbled out just after midnight. A quick Burger King run before bed (but made the mistake of not downing any water)

Sun 21 September

Up at about 07:00 and felt like death-warmed-up
Breakfast was an apple. That was enough...
Dozily wandered down to the festival grounds, and grabbed a table about 09:30.
Very quickly succumbed to peer pressure and grabbed the first stein of the day pretty much straight away, and the fun began
Such a weird, surreal, random experience. Brass bands, strange singing, cheeky waiters and waitresses, odd people everywhere and, of course, a shed load of beer. Merry...
After the 3rd stein, our table needed to be vacated, and I very strangely broke out in hives. Feeling worse-for-wear, we went back to the hotel room for a 2-hour nap, and returned to meet the crew about 19:00. What a mess!
Goodness knows why, but we ended up at some Chinese restaurant for dinner...

Mon 22 September

Got a decent lie-in, thank god
Visited the "new" art gallery (the "old" one was closed on Mondays)
Met the crew for lunch, again at an Augustiner hall (this one in the city). More beer, more roast pork. Sated...
Boarded the plane in the afternoon, and walked in home about 21:00

Diary: Weekend 12-14 September 08

2008-09-28T06:17:00.002+08:00

J wandered off to Phuket, leaving me by my lonesome for the weekend. So, apart for the standard cocaine and hookers, the only thing of note was Sat 13 September:

Watched Bledisloe Cup decider at a classy joint with a bunch of kiwi mates. Cracker of a game, even if the end result was disappointing
From there, went looking for somewhere showing Liv v Man U. Rafa's first win over the neighbours up the road, but didn't get to see enough of it due to time spent in transit
A late lunch at Queen's Head Brook Green. Nice mackeral salad in the sun in the beer garden (possibly the last of the summer...)

Diary: August 15 - September 10

2008-09-28T06:11:00.002+08:00

A f*cking awesome trip...

V-Festival Stafford for 3 days
Istanbul for 3 nights
Skopje, Ohrid and Bitola, Macedonia for 4 nights
Thessaloniki, Greece for 1 night
Santorini, Greece for 4 nights
Mykonos, Greece for 2 nights
Belgrade, Serbia for 2 nights
Sarajevo, Bosnia for 2 nights
Mostar, Bosnia for 1 night
Hvar, Croatia for 3 nights

See Facebook for pics. Unforgettable experiences.

Diary: Weekend 08-10 August 08

2008-09-28T06:01:00.002+08:00

The last weekend before our big trip...

Fri 08 August

Can't remember...

Sat 09 August

Can't remember...

Sun 10 August

A lazy Sunday, so much so that we couldn't even be bothered cooking dinner. We had the bright idea of finally going to one of the places on St John's Hill that we pass every morning on the bus. The best laid plans...
Il Cantuccio di Pulcinella was closed for renovations
The Cuban had closed down
Out of the Blue looked a little imposing with a Jazz night going on
We didn't feel like any of the Thai options, so caught the bus to Battersea Rise, Clapham Junction, and went to Say Pasta, a failsafe we'd been to before. Nothing spectacular.

All in all, a pretty quiet weekend, which suited us fine, given the month we had coming up!

Diary: Weekend 01-03 August 08

2008-09-28T05:55:00.002+08:00

Fri 01 August

Can't remember...

Sat 02 August

L's brother and gf were in town, so we met them in Soho. A quick pint at a typical Soho pub, then a couple more at Waxy O'Connors (which is still a great place for a visit, even if it is tourist central)

Sun 03 August

Can't remember...

Diary: Weekend 25-27 July 08

2008-09-28T05:44:00.002+08:00

J's Birthday Weekend

Fri 25 July

2 months later, can't remember!

Sat 26 July

A great night with a crew of about 10, celebrating J's birthday
Firstly, tapas at Salvador & Amanda. Set menu, but still good. Plenty of chorizo, gambas, meatballs, wicked Sangria and, when we were all full, paella
From there, moved to Lab, a cocktail bar we've enjoyed before. Tasty cocktails for everyone. If anything, most of them were a little too sugary and juicy (and not alcohol-y enough), but I moved onto the "man-tails" like Manhattans and Classic Martinis.
Got kicked out at closing time (thankyou Westminster), and we went looking for a minicab. This turned into an extraordinary exchange where the driver completely flipped out when we tried to arrange a 7-seater for us all. Faced with the possibility of being driven home by this speed-freak, we opted for the night-bus - which was hilarious as always!
Top night

Sun 27 July

Late to rise, which timed perfectly for brunch at Konnigan's on Old York Rd, Wandsworth. First time we've eaten there, and was pleasantly surprised. Excellent poached eggs.

Diary: Weekend 18-20 July 08

2008-07-22T00:17:00.006+08:00

Absolutely terrible week at work, so there was never much chance of a big weekend...

Fri 18 July

TV, guitar and sleep. Forget about anything else.

Sat 19 July

Toured the Battersea Power Station site, which is open for just a few weekends. You've got to love that building, so it was nice to see it up close. However, the display office of the redevelopment left me feeling sick. So much bullsh!t in one place is too much for me to handle. Perfect example:

Song Que

Stopped in a couple of bars around too-cool-for-school Hoxton Sq for some quiet ones before heading home

Sun 20 July

Nothing. What a relief...

Diary: Weekend 11-13 July 08

2008-07-21T23:49:00.004+08:00

Manchester!

Fri 11 July

I was in town for work, but didn't manage to log-off until about 21:00, which wasn't so bad compared to J's 1-hour-delayed train that also took an additional 1/2-hour longer. Poor thing didn't arrive until 22:00, just enough time for a panini and drink in the lobby of our hotel (great hotel, by the way!)

Sat 12 July

We needed some sleep, so didn't step out until about midday. Took the tram to Salford Quays to visit the Imperial War Museum North. Interesting, but wouldn't say it was thrilling. Those Year 11 History classes covering Germany in the 30's taught me too much so none of it new anymore!
Not many inspiring options for lunch, so Cafe Rouge will do.
J and I split up; me to Old Trafford and her to the Lowry. Dissapointing for us both unfortch (mine was booked out, her's was just plain depressing).
Dinner was surprisingly good. We tried to go to a cool place in the Northern Quarter but it was booked out. So, walked back to Chinatown, wandered the streets (spotted the least-convincing transvestites since Emily Howard, and the world tour of the Bangkok Lady Boys!), and eventually ended up at a Chinese restaurant. Expectations were low, but this was great. Spare ribs were brilliant, and it got better from there.

Sun 13 July

Checked out and went through the Millenium Shopping District. Very flash. Lunch at Yo! Sushi in Selfridges food hall. First time in ages - and totally enjoyable. Finished off with baklava from the patisserie.
Back on the train at 15:00, and back at Hardwicks about 19:00. Nice weekend, but either we went to wrong places or had too high expectations

Diary: Weekend 04-06 July 08

2008-07-21T23:28:00.003+08:00

Valencia! See pics

Fri 04 July

14:20 flight from Gatwick to Valencia. Arrived and walked into the foyer to feel proper warmth for the first time in ages

Checked into Hotel Vincci Palace, quite a sight with flowing drapes, dark wood and wallpaper, minimal lighting. Dropped the bags, put on shorts and thongs and headed straight outside.

"Early" meal at tapas joint across from Mercado Central. Cold (and I mean, Oz-cold) beer went down a treat in 32 deg heat. Topped up with Pulpo Gallegas and meatballs.

Wandered around the old town, went back to the room to get changed and back to the old town for dinner.

Couldn't get an alfresco table at El Rall, but soon forgot about that once the Jamon came out. Ordered a shellfish Paella, which was fantastic (except for the nice looking but painfully difficult Langoustines). Lovely Pinot to boot.

Sat 05 July

Morning coffee nextdoor and a wander to the Cathedral. From there, walked to the Art Gallery. Possibly below expectations (the literature mentioned Goyas, but there was really only 1 worth seeing), but on Perth-ratings it was still a pleasure

Took the tram to the beach. How long had it been since I'd seen that! Weighed up the possibility of buying bathers and a towel from the shysters on the beach, but eventually settled for beers at a quite dodgy looking place. The "waitress" had the look of a heroin addict and strange cans to match. As a result, we relocated to a (quite pretentious) beachside bar for a couple more beers.

Took that tram back to the hotel, as the sun went down, got changed and headed to the busy part of town. Was a nice relief to see some crowds (the area where the hotel was far too quiet for this city-boy).

After much deliberation, we went to a ham specialist restaurant (Palacio de la Bellota), knowing we were having Paella - but what an inspired decision. Possibly the best meal we've had in about a year!

Took another late night wander around town, before retiring.

Sun 06 July

Checked out a little late, but managed to get to the Mercado Central. I love these places - not just the exotic food, but the "real" food which you don't see anymore around our way (like proper, big, greenish tomatoes).

Headed down to the beach, this time with full intent. Bought a cr@p towel for about €5, rented a sunlounge for about €2, and finally swam. Water was so warm, I could have stayed there all day. Even managed to convince J to have a dip.

Dried off, dusted off and walked up the beach to the same strip of restaurants as yesterday, but for tapas at a respectable joint. Last meal of Pulpo Gallegas, Jamon Serrano and Gambas Ajillo.

17:10 flight back to arrive back at Hardwicks around 20:00 local time

Fantastic short break...

Diary: Weekend 27-29 June 08

2008-06-30T19:03:00.003+08:00

Fri 27 June

"Hat Party" at Hilton and Mandy's. Plenty of beers and silly chatter

Sat 21 June

Protein overload at Santa Maria Del Sur, an Argentinian Steakhouse in Battersea. Huge steak, sausage, black pudding and cheese grill platter. So satisfying. A bit pricey, but worth it given we haven't had a decent steak in a while.

Sun 22 June

Quiet day (like Saturday), organising holiday plans.
Watched the Euro2008 final (ESP-GER) at Brook Green Hotel, around the corner from G's place. Overpriced beers (£4.10 Peroni pints) and food, and took an eternity to arrive after they messed up the order. Good result in the game, though.

Diary: Weekend 20-22 June 08

2008-06-24T23:52:00.003+08:00

Fri 20 June

Exhausted upon getting home. Quick dinner at Spur, a "family" steak restaurant. Mediocre (except the price wasn't!)

Sat 21 June

Met up with a Perth cousin, Julie, who's been in town a few days
Went for dinner to Cha Cha Moon. Fantastic. Awesome noodles, really really simple and ridiculously cheap. Everything on the menu is £3.50. Can't argue with that. Thankyou TimeOut. I will now be taking everyone here.
A quick beer at the old tourist favourite, Waxy O'Connors. Too packed with football watchers (NED v RUS)
Cocktails at Lab. A winner. Brilliant cocktail menu (although their signature martini was just too harsh for a softc*ck like me). Thankyou again, TimeOut

Sun 22 June

Dim Sum!!! Hell yeah, it's been about a year. New World again, brilliant again. Salt + fat + wrapping = best brunch ever.
Another top discovery. The beer garden at my local (King's Arms) is absolutely massive. A couple of quiet pints with J and L in the sun. Top stuff.
Watched FRA v ITA with G and sister at The Northcote. Nowhere to sit, unfortch, and the game itself was dire. Good beers anyway

Diary: Weekend 13-15 June 08

2008-06-24T23:37:00.004+08:00

As I said before, just scroll down and ignore it...

Fri 13 June

Quick dinner at Cafe Bugatti. Completely empty as always, but good pasta at good prices. And by "good pasta", I mean not just some lazy menu of Carbonara, Bolognese, Arrabiatta, Napelotana, Primavera, Lasagna, Cannelloni, Ravioli, Tortellini Alla Panna, and some crap "chicken with creamy sun-dried tomato sauce. I mean some actual imagination. Let's hope it manages to stay open for a while longer when there's no customers (although we all know it's just a front for some scam anyway).

Sat 14 June

Linda's 30th Birthday Party at her place in Fulham in the afternoon. Beers punctuated by lollies, and a lot of Kiwis.
From there, straight to Brixton Academy for a N*E*R*D gig. Got there late (as always), with the main act already started. Sound was strangely crap, so couldn't even work out what songs were playing at times. Good show nonetheless, with nice bonus of hearing Frontin', although minus Jay-Z

Coming Soon: Boring Minutae!

2008-06-24T23:28:00.002+08:00

If anything is more pathetic than a blog with no readers (and, based on recent production, no writer either!), it's when the content is meaningless.

And since I've never been afraid of dredging the depths of the pathetic, I've decided that I'll now use this blog to record the boring events of my life in London.

It will probably just be dot points and maybe a few links. What it definitely will be, is completely ignorable. So, my suggestion is, just scroll down when you see it.

Thanks for your patience

K

Minor Comeback

2008-05-03T08:34:00.003+08:00

Hi. Good to see ya. Have you lost weight?...

Anyway, what better occasion to return to the blog than Juddy's return to Subi?

So, I'm typing this just after the start of the 4th quarter after recording the game on Setanta Sports - that's a satellite sports channel in the UK for my Australian reader (not a typo)...

And I've come to the following conclusions:

Juddy is still a legend. Screw all those p!ssweak "fans" at the ground who booed him -they're the same d!ckheads who boo the James Hirds of the world

Ricky Olarenshaw wears the unique combination of a child's name and his Dad's suit. Seriously, I know he's not the biggest of guys, but surely they sell size S suits at Cotton On in Melbourne (judging by the shine of that suit, I'd say it's 50% poly at best)

Josh Kennedy is just Travis Gaspar 2.0. Let's hope they sorted out those bugs

Beau Waters (despite being one of my favourite players in the league) is as out of place in the midfield as Tom Cruise at a strip club (i.e. in denial, and just pretending)

I don't know what David "The (c)Ox" Schwarz had done to him as a child, but he couldn't be more angry at West Coast if he tried (or is he like this all the time?)

There's bad times ahead at West Coast, for at least the next year, as much as it pains me to say it. Swallow the bitter pill, get some weight on Masten, Ebert, Jones et al, and they can push for the '8 in 09

Has there been a more spectacular decline than Chad Fletcher's? Many would argue he wasn't that good anyway, but I'm sure I can remember him getting at least 2 or 3 inside 50's a few years back?!?!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - Darren Glass is not a captain. Earnestness does not equal leadership

I apologise to all of my reader (not a typo) who aren't Eagles fans for boring them to death, but this game has pretty much consumed my whole day - especially now that the Champions League finalists have been decided.

P.S. I'm just finishing this post when Ricky Olarenshaw says man-whore was "wearing (Judd) like a cheap suit!"!!! Freudian!

I'll try to post again soon, I promise...

Hottest 100 2006

2007-01-09T17:28:00.000+09:00

Like Warney in next year's Twenty20 International, I'm back for a special appearance. I just couldn't stay away.

And the reason? Apart from the mountains of cash offered by all my reader (not a typo), nothing brings me out of my (non-existent) shell more than a good music debate.

And what better music debate than Hottest 100?

Just like last year, you'll find below what will be the Top 20 on Australia Day, and, for anyone interested (!), my Top 50.

What Will Be:

Gnarls Barkley Crazy
Hilltop Hoods Clown Prince
Killers When You Were Young
My Chemical Romance Welcome To The Black Parade
Youth Group Forever Young
Hilltop Hoods The Hard Road
Lily Allen Smile
Eskimo Joe Black Fingernails, Red Wine
Scissor Sisters I Don't Feel Like Dancing
Peter Bjorn & John Young Folks
AFI Love Like Winter
Arctic Monkeys When The Sun Goes Down
OK GO Here It Goes Again
Red Hot Chili Peppers Dani California
Saboteurs Steady As She Goes
Grates 19-20-20
Little Birdy Come On Come On
Augie March One Crowded Hour
Arctic Monkeys Fake Tales Of San Francisco
Justice Vs Simian We Are Your Friends

My Top 50:

Gnarls Barkley Crazy
Killers When You Were Young
My Chemical Romance Welcome To The Black Parade
Lily Allen Smile
Gnarls Barkley Just A Thought
Peter Bjorn & John Young Folks
Arctic Monkeys When The Sun Goes Down
Lost Gospel Secret Agent
Youth Group Forever Young
AFI Love Like Winter
Grates 19-20-20
Grates Science Is Golden
Flaming Lips The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
Saboteurs Steady As She Goes
Flaming Lips Free Radicals
Gnarls Barkley Smiley Faces
Regina Spektor Fidelity
Hot Chip Over And Over
Yeah Yeah Yeahs Cheated Hearts
Gossip Standing In The Way Of Control
Augie March One Crowded Hour
Kanye West Touch The Sky
Scissor Sisters I Don't Feel Like Dancing
Arctic Monkeys Fake Tales Of San Francisco
Lupe Fiasco Kick Push
Gotye Hearts A Mess
Yeah Yeah Yeahs Gold Lion
Strokes Heart In A Cage
Lily Allen LDN
Ben Kweller Sundress
Belle & Sebastian Funny Little Frog
Kisschasy The Shake
Josh Pyke Memories & Dust
Camille Ta Douleur
Phoenix Long Distance Call
Gotye Learnalilgivnanlovin
Little Birdy Come On Come On
Sleepy Jackson God Lead Your Soul
Eagles Of Death Metal I Want You So Hard (Boy's Bad News)
Youth Group Catching And Killing
Regina Spektor On The Radio
Jenny Wilson Let My Shoes Lead Me Forward
Diamond Nights Destination Diamonds
Boy Least Likely To Be Gentle With Me
Cops Call Me Anytime
Ground Components/Macromantics Coming In From All Angles
Justice Vs Simian We Are Your Friends
Red Hot Chili Peppers Dani California
Hilltop Hoods Clown Prince
Hilltop Hoods The Hard Road

In a surprising twist last year, my N0. 1 pick was correct, but my guess for "what will be" was wrong. We'll see how we go this year.

That's it from me. I was considering posting a little wrap-up of what probably was the most amazing year of my little life, but don't expect it - I have to keep to my rate of 1 post per 6 months.

Instead, I'll leave you with two quotes. One from the possibly-soon-to-be Nepalese leader (of course!) and one from Homer Simpson. You see if you can work out who said what:

"Under Soviet rule and when China was still very much a communist state, there were no homosexuals in the Soviet Union or China. Now they are moving towards capitalism, homosexuals may have arisen there as well. So homosexuality is a product of capitalism."

?????: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a
charm.
Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad.
?????: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
?????: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
?????: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
?????: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[????? thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
?????: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]

Bye!

We Cross Live Now To A Midget on a Camel...

2006-06-25T01:21:00.000+08:00

Hi folks.

Such is my dedication to the reader (not a typo) of this blog, that I'm taking time out of my holidays to post. Who's your Daddy? That's right, you know it...

I'm in Rome now. I was in Dubrovnik, Croatia, the other night, where I had the pleasure/fear of watching a truly excellent thriller between the Socceroos and Hrvatska.

Immeasureable pleasure in watching Kewell get a World Cup goal, and even old man Craig Moore getting picked for the penalty almost purely for sentimental reasons...

Tempered by fear watching a few pissed Aussie f**kwits baiting the locals when we levelled the scores, and going back for more when the red cards started showing.

Firstly, wasn't it refreshing to see that the Croatian team still hasn't progressed from their dirty, cheating methods displayed for all to see in France '98. Only Croatia could self-destruct like that when things go bad.

And, was I the only one who thought "Aussie" Joe Simunic got 3 yellow cards before being sent off?

However, a note to anyone who watches a game played by a previously war-torn nation in that country... Shut the f**k up and watch the game, regardless of the score!

It's perfectly summed up by the pissed Aussies doing the best chant they could think of - "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Oi! Oi! Oi!", in response to the Hrvatska crowd chanting stuff along the lines of "Tread on the enemy! Crush! Crush! Crush!".

Anyway, the result was awesome, and I can only imagine how the bandwagon back home is looking for a 6th gear in order to move everyone who's jumping on it.

As a result, and in response to what is undoubtedly some fantastic journalism coming out from The West or even the Murdoch papers back home, here are Krisko's Points To Note about the 2nd Round Match vs Italy.

Australia will not win. Just thought I'd make that clear straight away.

The best we can hope for is a miracle draw and penalties.

Guus Hiddink knows about 10 times more about football/soccer than anyone in Australia.

If in doubt, refer to point 3.

Italy has Totti.

Australia has Kewell (a bad comparison).

Italy has Toni.

Australia has, um, Kewell.

Italy has Pirlo.

Australia has, um, Kewell? OK, maybe Bresciano (don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of Bresciano, but he's no Totti, Toni or Pirlo).

Australia's best players, in rough order from best to worst, are Kewell, Bresciano, Viduka, Cahill, daylight to Neill, then even more daylight to the rest. If any of those players don't start the match, refer to point 3. Trust him, he knows what he's doing.

Scott Chipperfield is sh!t. So sh!t in fact that most opposition wingers will leave him alone to get the ball, knowing that he won't do anything constructive with it. If he plays, again, refer to point 3.

Mile Sterjovski, before the game against Croatia was in the same boat as Chipperfield. However, he played a decent game, so I'll give him a little break here.

Schwarzer will 'keep this game. You can bet your house upon that!

Australia will not score from a set piece. Except just maybe a corner. Free kicks you can forget about, so don't get excited when we get one. In fact, that's a good time to go and get a beer (or coffee, depending on which timezone you're in).

Italy will be a threat from every set piece (and every normal play as well).

Nesta is injured. He's one of the top 5 defenders in the world, so that helps, but it won't help enough.

Italy 3-0. Maybe 3-1, and damn it will be fun if that 1 comes early. Enjoy the trip, though, folks, as it's not often us Aussies get to back a team in a genuine world championship.

I will be watching the game somewhere in Rome. Hopefully my luck continues, but as you can see from the above, I'm not holding high hopes. If the miracle occurs, and we repeat Guus' efforts from 2002, the even better news is that we'll play the winner of Switzerland v Ukraine.

In actual fact, all that means is that Italy's price shortened massively when Korea scored a last-minute equaliser against France a week or so back...

Come on Aussie.

It's All About the Cox

2006-04-28T12:41:00.000+08:00

Standard opener/disclaimer: Sorry I haven't posted in so long... Blah, blah, blah... She deserved it... Australia Says No....

Now, my brother and I (as well as thousands of other childish West Coast supporters like us) have been making jokes at Cox's name's expense for years now, and let me tell ya, it NEVER tires. Think "penetrating", "Big Cox" etc etc... Well, the PC crew has come (hehe, come!) down on Deal or No Deal host Andrew O'Keefe, for interviewing Geoff Cox (no, never heard of him either), and saying his new CD could be called:

"The Best Cox and More Cox than You Could Ever Believe"

I don't care what none of y'all say, that's gold!

Gaming: Speaking of puerile puns, Nintendo's new console will be named "Wii", pronounced "Wee". Must be an attempt to penetrate (hehe, again!) the German market. Perhaps the first game will be Super Mario World 5: Scat Island. I kill me...

Related, Xbox 360 ad that might've been banned. Great stuff.

Round Ball: I'm still commisserating AC Milan's UCL Semi-Final loss (set for a good final, though!), but to then hear that Zidane is retiring... Cheer up by viewing some highlights of his sublime skills (and then think about how the hell Australia will manage against players like him in June).

With Guus going to Russia after the World Cup, the FFA has started looking for a replacement. Word is, it might be Harry Kewell's old mate, Gerard Houllier. Hope so.

TV: Thank Christ that The Fattest Idiot has finally finished. Now onto BB, which is getting more and more cynical each year, but hey, it's better than Temptation or Homos and Gays!

In fact, last night was postively engaging. With Bernard Fanning coming out after dodging Camilla's questions all day, and then seeing the poor thing cry like a baby, it was terrific viewing. 50 bucks says they get drunk and give it a go anyway.

Speaking of The Fattest Idiot, how much does that Kristie look like the kid off The Shining?. REDRUM...REDRUM...REDRUM...

Check out Finland's entry to Eurovision this year. Now that's gonna be great to watch. The story is that this year, Finland allowed full public voting for their act (rather than a record company scam). My bet is the rules will change next year..

Misc: Two final things. Check out Phillip Morris (the tobacco company) launching "Maori Mix" cigarettes in Israel. Idiots. Like that's not gonna offend anyone...

And, set aside about an hour (seriously) to read an amazing series of posts by Kevin Smith (director of Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma etc, a.k.a. "Silent Bob") about his Jay and his real-life H addiction. I know I spend most of my time in these posts being sarcastic, but believe me, this is some of the best reading on the web.

Thanks, Adam

Big Bag of Goodies

2006-03-31T13:47:00.000+08:00

I got lotsa links for you, eh?

Red Ball: Apart from the enjoyable thrashings going on in South Africa (the Aussies going for 5-0 starting this arvo, and Smith is out for the final Test), there's some equally enjoyable matches on the Subcontinent.

As we know, the Poms won a Test against a real side for the first time since The Ashes, but the ODI's aren't going well. They failed to chase 203 (in fact, fell 39 runs short), and the hero of the match was Harbajan Singh. He was brought on when Freddy and Pietersen were looking the goods, and managed to 4 for 9 in 6 overs. See, that's a bowling change, Punter.

Speaking of Mick Lewis, sanity has finally prevailed, and he's been dropped from the side to tour Bangladesh. Even better, he's been replaced by a genuine young talent in Dan Cullen.

Still on cricket, Punter's century in both digs last week has everyone singing about him - this blogger included. Check his stats at Cricinfo and you'll see what I mean. He's now 9th on the all-time list, and with the best average of the lot. He'll become the best Aussie batsmen ever with another 2600 runs (to give you an idea, he scored 1544 in 2005, and 1503 in 2003. By then, it'll be a battle between Lara, Tendulkar and himself to see who retires the best. Awesome.

Finally, the ICC has confirmed that a Twenty20 World Cup will happen pretty soon. Mick Lewis will soon be named captain of the Australia side, due to his superior economy rate. Interestingly, the ICC has called it an "invitational", but participation will be "mandatory".

Oval Ball: Anyway, who cares about cricket when the footy's back! Went to the game last night, but honestly can't work out whether West Coast were good, or St Kilda were bad (in fact, they played like a bunch of spastics). At least my predictions are looking good (i.e. Chad Fletcher to go missing this season, never to recover from a horrible finals series last year, and Beau Waters by Round 15 to be the first player picked every week).
Cox was unbelievably good, justifying Sheahan selecting him 9th in his 50 Most Important Players.

And how's this for a headline: "Archer Admits 'Living on Tablets'". Replace Archer with Gardiner, and it's suddenly not news. Simpson's Quote:

Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'.

Round Ball: You ever seen a young kid riding a bike or skateboarding or something, and they go over a little ramp or bump or something and land it. Then, they get so full of ridiculous confidence that they then try and jump a 10-storey building? Funny, eh? So, replace 'kid' with Justin Madden (Victorian Minister for Commonwealth Games), 'bump' with Comm Games, and '10-storey building' with FIFA World Cup 2018. Hilarious!
In sad news (which everyone already knew), Guus won't be 'round in July.

Misc: Rose Porteous had a stroke. Wasn't that about 20 years ago? No? Well how the hell else do you explain her?

Hilarious George Bush puppetry. You can lose hours in this, and it's so damn satisfying.

In obvs news, everyone hates Tom Cruise.

Finally, if this is the only blog you read, then you gotta get out more. Folks have been doing this sh*t for years now, and one of the first ones I ever read was The Modern Age. The author, Laura, is just the sweetest thing, and everyone who reads her knows. So, how do you explain some anonymous f*cker needlessly calling her a sl*t in one of her recent posts? Everyone get on there and post some heat back at this c*cksuker!

While you're there, check her link to the weirdest News Broadcast ever.

Thanks, Adam

Let's Play Guess the Cooker

2006-03-21T15:21:00.000+08:00

Oval Ball: I know I shouldn't post excerpts from Crikey's newsletter verbatim, but I'll do it with a link to their subscription page (seriously, I highly recommend it).

They've shed some light on the leaked AFL player names (you know, the ones who tested positive twice). Anyone here heard any further on this?

How the names of three drug-taking AFL players got out
By Anthony Stavrinos

There's been quite a kerfuffle over the story set to run in The Smage last week about three AFL players who had twice tested positive for use of illicit recreational substances.

A key part of the story by Jacqueline Magnay – the names of the three players – had to be removed after the AFL took out an injunction against Fairfax and the rest of the media, to keep the trio's identities hush hush.

The saga will return to Victoria's Supreme Court on Wednesday, but while the blanket ban on the players' names is in force, a cock-up has seen the players' names revealed to clients of media monitoring company Media Monitors.

Media Monitors has an arrangement with Fairfax in which it is sent a copy of the electronic page proofs from its newspapers at the same time as they are sent to the publisher's printing facilities. That feeds into an automated system which delivers the relevant information to clients – before the paper has even been printed.

So when the injunction was enforced on Thursday evening, the page proofs had already been sent to the company before last minute alterations to the AFL story.

Understandably reluctant to draw attention to the names it has fought so hard to remove from public circulation, the AFL was guarded in its comments. "There was feed on our media monitoring service, it was from a newspaper and it was removed,” a spokeswoman told Crikey.

Senior deputy editor of The Age, Paul Ramadge wanted to make it clear the unfortunate mistake had nothing to do with his paper. “My understanding is that Media Monitors got access to a version of the story off a Sydney Morning Herald page, not an Age page”, he told Crikey. “The story did not make any editions of The Age.”

Crikey has the players' names, but we can't publish them – the Supreme Court injunction covers all media.

Now, to make this post completely lazy, some quick links:

"Richo can't rely on reputation". Doesn't he have a reputation as a useless, fat pr*ck?

The Swans are "the worst titleholder since Collingwood in 1990". Love it.

Same old same old, with concern over West Coast's firepower. This is the team that was the competition's 3rd highest scorer last season, right?

Richie Vandenburg knows his team is sh*t, but this quote concerns me
"We've got a number of goals that we've put in place for the season and none of those revolve around where we finish on the ladder"
What's so wrong with having a goal to win some bloody matches?

TV: Plenty more Simpsons, King of the Hill, and Futurama to come. Excellent news.

SBS has signed up the rights to World Cups 2010 and 2014. Whilst looking for details on that, I also stumbled across SBS' upcoming soccer reality show, Nerds FC. Interesting...

Hilarious news out of the US, with rumours abounding that everyone's favourite couch-jumper refusing to promote his new vehicle if Comedy Central airs the South Park episode pulling the p*ss out of Scientology. Read the article just for Parker and Stone's press release.

Culture: Finally, everyone who knows me has heard me whinge at one stage about how sanitised little old Perth is. If you have 10 mins, read The Age's article celebrating the revamping of liquor licensing 10 years ago that made the city what it is today - my favourite (no doubt soon to be displaced by any number of the cities soon to be visited on the upcoming world trip).

'Til next time... (and if I haven't told you about the Final 8 Tipping Contest, comment me).

How Many Half-Volleys to Make 112 Runs?

2006-03-14T13:46:00.000+08:00

White Ball: I'm an angry b*tch today, still reeling from Sunday night's debacle...

I have this horrible run of luck where the best sports games I remember watching are actually losses (perfect example, best Western Derby ever was the one where Dale Kickett went postal, Phil Read got angry - what a surprise, Phil Matera managed to hurt someone - the umpire, but my team lost in a thriller).

I thought that run of luck ended in the Socceroo's qualifier (btw, just to make me feel better on Monday morning, I had another look at the photo gallery - I recommend it, very therapeutic if you're ever feeling crap).

But no, the best ODI ever ended up a terrible, terrible loss. Everyone's been asking how did we manage to not defend 434. Two simple answers, Bracken dropping Gibbs (he got 45 extra runs from that), and Ponting putting Lewis back on not once, not twice, but three times!

Quick quiz for young players:
Imagine you're captain of a side fielding 2nd, 43 overs gone. The batting side needs 77 runs off the last 7 overs (4 wickets in hand). You've got Bracken bowling at one end pretty well. Who do you put on to bowl?:

Symonds (9-0-75-2)

Clarke (7-0-49-1)

Clark (6-0-54-0)

Lewis (7-0-72-0)

Maybe you might want to avoid the slow bowlers (even though they're doing the best of a bad bunch), so you'd choose between Clark and maybe Lewis.

That's right, you read somewhere (it might have been a Cricket Australia press release?) that Lewis is apparently a "bowl at the death specialist".

So, you put on the only bowler who's going for more than 10 an over.

Bad decision, and it only gets worse!

1-4-6-1-2-0 Lewis gets carted for 16 runs. Next over, Bracken bowls his only bad one so far (14 runs). They now need only 47 runs from 5 overs. Better batten down the hatches, eh? I know, I'll put the "bowl at the death specialist" on.

2-1-1-1-1-3 Lewis falls in for 9 runs. Next over, Bracken gets a wicket and goes for 8 runs. Now they need 30 runs from the last 3 overs.

You've got half a chance here now. You'll leave Bracken and Bing to bowl overs 49 and 50, so who to have for 47?:

Symonds (9-0-75-2) RR 8.33

Clarke (7-0-49-1) RR 7.00

Clark (6-0-54-0) RR 9.00

Lewis (9-0-96-0) RR 10.66

Here's a great idea, how about you put on the only bowler going for more than 10 an over (since that's exactly what the required run rate is)?

4-2-4-1-2-4 (17 runs).

Good one, f*ckwit.

No one now cares about your 164 runs in the first innings, since you just wasted 41 runs putting Lewis back on.

No one now cares about Australia's awesome record in the last 5-10 years (this was the first bilaterial ODI series Australia lost since Pakistan in 2002).

Certainly, no one gives a f*ck that we won the 4th ODI despite Smith saying we choked.

And, you know what, no one will care even if we win the World Cup next year, because we will forever be the team that couldn't defend not only the highest score ever, but 36 runs over that score. Everyone's already forgotten about the '99 World Cup that Herschelle "dropped".

Links: Warney jumping the gun, branding Smith a fool. The Age jumping the gun even more, singing the Aussie's praises after the 1st Innings. The Australian quoting Ponting trying to blame it all on Lewis, like Ponting didn't have 3 chances to nip that in the bud. One journo having the guts to say Lewis is finished (some would question whether he ever started at all). Ponting making the first steps toward realising his mess-up. And a happy bunch of Saffies, so they should be.

In an attempt to forget that and move on, good to see England weren't just flashes in the pan in the Ashes, eh? Losing the 2nd of 3 Tests against India (after getting only 181 in their 2nd digs), many would be surprised to hear that, ignoring 2 tests against Bangladesh, the Poms have won the grand total of 2 of their last 10 Tests (and that includes The Ashes!).

Music: Nice article 'bout The Vines (now minus Patrick Matthews who ran from the carnage to join Youth Group), the new album, and everyone's favourite mentally disturbed lead singer.

Thanks, Jason

Same Old Story

2006-03-11T21:01:00.000+08:00

Just a quick one, because I know no one will actually read this tonight...

Just watched Freo lose. They were pathetic in the last quarter. The scoring "worm" graph says it all (a 32-point turnaround in about the last 20 minutes)...

And, if I see Digby Beacham or any of his c*cksucking mates in tomorrow's Sunday Times write up the game as a "brave effort" by the Dockers, I will turn homicidal.

So this is obviously the new, improved Dockers under Connolly's "hardline stance". Trust me, read that link. It would be funny if it weren't so f**king tragic.

However, it was funny to hear the loudest cheer of the night was reserved for when Farmer went up for a mark one-handed, dropped it, and did his ankle. Poetic...

In what appears to be an even worse performance, West Coast lost to Carlton (who last week lost by 99 points).

Let's just get this sh*t over with and get on with Round 1, eh?

Even Better!

2006-03-10T14:56:00.000+08:00

Music: Seriously, this blogging thing is just getting easier, when the stories themselves are so hilarious/ridiculous you don't even need to beat them up.

For example, Chopper Read to release rap album. What? No, it's true! You can even check out his MySpace profile for samples.

On the subject of psychotic people who made music, the last bastion of original 70's punk, the Sex Pistols, are now bending over and taking it for cash, announcing their back catalogue is available to shill anything from luxury cars to MP3 players.

Red Ball: And, on the back of Thommo saying he's not a footballer's a**hole, Watto has now asked for a quiet chat with Punter to find out why he was dropped. Maybe it'll go something like...

Watto: Punter, how come I'm dropped, and stuff?
Punter: Cause you're sh*t.
Watto: But so is Mick Lewis and Mitchell Johnson!
Punter: Hmm, yeah good point. Oh well, you're still sh*t though...

Fun: Also, a new-ish site to add to your favourites, Office Pirates, full of weird and wonderful crap aimed at bored office workers like me.

Unbeatable

2006-03-09T23:31:00.000+08:00

I know that these days blogs aren't supposed to just be a list of links (any loser can do that). But, sometimes you just can't value-add to perfection.

Like the headline "Watson 'not an all rounder's a-hole'". Sorry, can't top that! Thommo goes on to give Mitchell "Who?" Johnson a spray too (winning more points in my book), but then shows his true Queenslander colours by saying that Bichel should be a walk-up start.

Speaking of charity cases like Watto, pleese take the time to visit the charity helping to save rangas worldwide, the International Ginger Kids Foundation. Give generously.

BTW, I tried to find a pic of the original "Watto" (Perth Wildcats Point Guard), using trusty old Google Images. Look what pic you get first up. Must be something about that name!

Thanks, Ricko

OFI All-Australian Team 2006

2006-02-24T11:59:00.000+08:00

In light of Benny's Booze Bus Bolt, recent conversations around the campfire (read: beer) revealed the massive number number of players who have been involved in Off-Field Indiscretions (OFIs). So much so, that I reckon we can make a team out of them!

So, below (scroll down!) is the pick of players currently (or very recently) running around the league who've had their name in the paper for all the wrong reasons.

NOTES: Where I know of it, I've listed either their most recent, or most well known OFI. Players are listed with current club - not necessarily related to the OFI.

(Apologies for my mediocre HTML Coding. If anyone knows why there is a half-page gap between this sentence and the table, I'd be happy to hear it)

FF:	J. Farmer (FRE) (assault on de facto)	B. Fevola (CAR) (several alcohol related, drunk at abusive at club function)	S. Milne (STK) (s*xual assault: charges dropped)
HF:	M. O'Loughlin (SYD) (s*xual assault: charges dropped)	C. Tarrant (COL) (brawl with M. Johnson at nightclub)	G. Johncock (ADE) (drink driving)
C:	H. Black (FRE) (drunk at Perth Cup)	C. Brown (HAW) (drunk, abused storeperson and broke shop window)	A. Embley (WCE) (dropped due to drinking during season)
HB:	K. Norman (CAR) (drugs: fined and suspended)	L. Angwin (CAR) (drugs: sacked)	B. Pickett (MEL) (drink driving)
FB:	D. Jacobs (HAW) (drink driving)	Q. Lynch (WCE) (running from police)	J. Shulz (RIC) (drink driving: lost team's sponsorship)
FOL:	M. Gardiner (WCE) (drugs, associating with known criminals, denied police questioning)	P. Burgoyne (POR) (s*xual assault: charges dropped)	B. Cousins (WCE) (c) (running from police, associating with known criminals, denied police questioning, hanging around with Gardiner)
I/C:	P. Everitt (HAW) (v/c) (help??)	L. Montagna (STK) (s*xual assault: charges dropped)
	L. Picioane (KAN) (drink driving)	M. Johnson(ESS) (brawl with C. Tarrant at nightclub)
Emerg:	D. Kerr (WCE) (brawl with B. Cousins at nightclub)	S. Johnson (GEE) (drunk in public)	A. Mackie (GEE) (drunk in public)
Coach:		L. Matthews (BRI) (taken to court by Neville Bruns)
President:		J. Elliott (CAR) (you name it!)

Comments, suggestions or corrections encouraged. Add a comment via the link below, or email me

Thanks: Ben, Adam, Jason S, Jason P, WA Police

Do NOT Go In There. Whhoooo!!

2006-02-23T14:38:00.000+08:00

Someone's already stolen my domain

W*nker

Go and send him some hate mail or something. Tell him he smells and no-one likes him, I don't know...

Cuzzy Crap

2006-02-20T15:38:00.000+08:00

I'll keep track of all the Ben Cousins jokes that come in over the next few days.

Even More Pics:

More Pics:

Mixed One-Liners:

I hear that Ben Cousins has already chosen his song for the Players Review this year.....
- A doo run run run I do run run.

In order to stop Ben Cousins kicking goals, St Kilda will unveil their new defender in Round 1 - Constable Care

I hear that Ben Cousins has changed his footy jumper number for 2006, it is now .08

The Eagles have now helped solve parking problems at Subiaco - park at Applecross and run to the game.

The AFL are concerned about the smooth running of the tribunal system this year as it seems Eagles players will take around 5 days before they face up to their misdemeanours.

The Eagles are not concerned about losing any sponsorship revenue over the cousins incident as they are likely to pick up VB as a new sponsor.

Wedding Present - $250
New suit - $1000
Merc Leasing Costs - $3000
Drinks at the Bar - $5000
Leaving your girlfriend in the car while running away from a booze bus Priceless

Run, Benny, Run!:

Bad PSing, but still funny:

Good pic:

Crap poem (with a nice reply at the end, especially like the grammar errors, as if to enforce a stereotype...):

Captain Calamity
(Benny and the Booze Bus)

There ain't no criminals at the Dockers
But the Eagle's, they're got dozens
Like Gardiner, Kerr and Lynch
And repeat offender - Cousins

You Eagles supporters deserve it
It's called F * ckin Karma
For all the shit you're given us
About poor old Jeffrey Farmer

Ben should have got a taxi
Then he wouldn't have had to run
But he was worried that, like Beau Waters
He'd end up under one

Let's hope they throw the book at him
And send the bastard to prison
Along with his Dodgy mates
Like Gardy and John Kizon

It would be hard to lead your side
From inside a F * ck'n cell
I bet you wish you had a captain
Like the responsible Peter Bell

But I suppose Woosha would plan a prison break
He'd sneak in Judd and all his stars
And one by one they'd have a go
At poking Benny through the bars.

=====
Written by a Dockers supporter
Who only drinks beer
Sounds like sour grades to me
Cause they have nothing to cheer

More as they come in (send 'em to me if you have any)...

Hot Tip

2006-02-20T12:58:00.000+08:00

Oval Ball: Great news out of the Saints today, with my favourite rover who doesn't run from Booze Buses, Luke Ball, being named captain. So deserving.

So, while it probably means Ball will have a quieter season than last, it means that Riewoldt's $26 price for the Brownlow is looking great, since all he'll have to worry about now is taking marks at CHF and getting it down to Fraaaaaaaaase. Incidentally, Ball $17, Dal Santo $15, Hayes $101.

To be filed under "who gives a sh*t", Dooooogs played well the other night. I would have been more interested had he been traded. Oh to think what we could have got for Doooogs and Gardy...

And, stay tuned for the AFL OFI Team of the Century, containing the best players to have been involved in Off-Field Indicretions, captained by guess who? If you've got selction suggestions, comment me (or email blogsareso2005@iinet.net.au)

Round Ball: Sorry to break it to you, but World Cup 2006 is all decided already.
Try your own predictions with Excely's little spreadsheet. Points to note:

Germany barely have to get out of bed to get through the 1st round, before a grudge match vs England

The last Group B match, England v Sweden will be massive (winner plays Poland, loser plays Germany)

Netherlands will be one of the best teams to watch, but have a cursed run (in a group with Argentina, then have to beat Portugal and Germany, only to meet Brazil in a semi)

Italy should beat Czech Republic...

Australia should draw one and win one against Japan and Croatia (patriotism=idiocy)...

Setting up Italy v Australia 2nd round (just as a side note, I will be in Croatia when they play the last group match against them, and in Italy for that 2nd round match - just thought I'd add that...)

Some of those 2nd round matches (GER-ENG, POR-NED, ESP-SUI) will probably be decided by penalties, but the spreadsheet can't do it

I will be watching Germany v Argentina in the QF in Berlin(just thought I'd add that...)

Despite 6 of the 8 quarter-finalists being from mainland Europe, it still ends up a South American final

There's still a good chance of a BRA-ITA final (but it had better be more entertaining than '94)

Argentina $3.75 for a place looks like a good bet

My knowledge and predictive skills of international sport knows no (lower) bound

Music: Nice article in The Age about music on TV shows, in particular The OC. Interesting to note that Cold Case can't be released on DVD because licensing all the music will cost too much!

Betfair

2006-02-07T12:34:00.000+08:00

News today is that Betfair are now operating within Australia. For the uninitiated, Betfair works as a peer-to-peer betting exchange (kinda like stock exchange) where, rather than betting against a bookmaker, you bet against anonymous punters.

The upside is, you get to bet on losses.

So, for the cynical-types (not me, never!), you get to put your money where your mouth is.

Example 1:
You're a mad West Coast fan, and you're still bitter about the game that never happened at the MCG on the last Saturday of last September. You've spent the whole off-season rubbishing the Premiers, claiming they'll never be seen there again. Well! Now you can go to Betfair, and place a "lay" bet for Sydney to win the Premiership (as opposed to a "back" bet) at the odds of 11.
Now, my maths might be dodgy, but you can determine an equivalent "TAB-style" price with the formula: TAB-Style Price = Betfair Lay Odds / (Betfair Lay Odds - 1).
So, you can get $1.10 for Sydney not to win next year's premiership. No doubt, there will be Final 8 markets up soon (Quick calculation: TAB has Sydney at $1.43 to make the 8. By my maths, that's roughly equivalent to $3.30 on a "lay" bet. That sounds devilishly attractive...)

Example 2:
You're sick of hearing how this year is "Freo's big chance". Well! Again, the Final 8 odds aren't up on Betfair yet, but TAB has them at $1.85 to make it. Equivalent Betfair "lay" price: $2.18. Mmmmmwwwwaaaahhhhhaaaaahahahah.

Example 3:
You have a good laugh every two years when the Round Ball media talk up England's chances of winning the World Cup/Euro Championship. Well! You can take the 8.4 "lay" bet for England to Win 2006 World Cup (equivalent price: $1.14). Or, the 4.6 "lay" to make the Final (equiv: $1.27). Better still, try the "Win Group B" "lay" at 1.77 (equiv: $2.30), which is basically saying Sweden will beat them in their group match.

The downside is, you have to outlay some decent money to get anything back with odds like those. Over the course of a year, I only bet about $100, and exclusively on $3 and upwards prices (I love an upset!).

What was that Gambler's Helpline number again?...

Eddie's Last Show

2006-02-07T08:35:00.000+08:00

Just a couple of quick points today.

Red Ball: Didn't watch the Allan Border Medal last night (referred to by some as Australian Cricket Idol), but after reading about Tufnell's pre-recorded bit, I kinda wish I did. Better still is Punter's reply

"I probably wouldn't have minded it so much if it had been someone who had taken part in that series. Someone that never really did anything against Australia in any game that he ever played was a little bit harder to cop, I guess"

Ooohh, snap!

And, it appears it might be one of the last times we see Ed McGuire host a show, as the December rumours of him taking over the Nine network look like coming true. Great news for anyone who doesn't support Collingwood (i.e. anyone with a brain), since he'll stop commentating, quit The Footy Show, and will drop the Presidency. News Limited, with a perfect chance to have a dig at a rival, have gone straight to the intelligentsia for a comment - Joffa (a.k.a. f*ckwit with the gold jacket at Collingwood games)!

And, in other media circles, many are already plotting his downfall. This from an unnamed former media public company CEO (in Crikey, not online):

"To put Eddie McGuire in the CEO's seat at Nine without him having had any big company management experience or without having made the mistakes you make on the way up could be as big a mistake by James Packer as OneTel.

Tell Eddie he's a great CEO in the making but, like all of us, you have to learn and earn your way, not start at the top."

My opinion: once you get into this purple circle of CEO and Board Presidencies, you're set. Even if you do have some massive cock-ups, you'll just go somewhere else.

So, I gotta (geniunely) say, well done Ed. At least now you can do what you're best at (pressing flesh, moving and shaking) and not bother us TV watchers and footy fans with hearing about it.

Pay Some Respect, Damn It!

2006-01-30T11:10:00.000+08:00

Yellow Ball: Men's Final last night was excellent. Bag-that-ass played genuinely excellent tennis (without freaky luck) and still took a set off Federer, so it was good to watch.

Even better was the absolutely clinical demolition in the 3rd and 4th sets. Fed showed him up for the also-ran he is.

DISCLAIMER: I'm still dirty that Bag-that-ass knocked A-Rod out and lost me my 10 bucks. However...

This f**king bandwagon-jumping drove me insane! I should expect it from our meeja, given that there were no Aussies left, and the Melbourne Greek community will dry hump anyone successful who has one eyebrow, but how about recognising the fact that we are truly blessed to be able to watch a supreme athlete like Federer run around the court.

Tiger Woods has played down here about as many times as I've got par (and not even Greg Norman plays here anymore). We'll never see a top 1% soccer player kick a ball in anger here. We had the best athletes turn up here once in 1954 and once in 2000, but we won't see 'em for a while.

So, when we see him, we spend the whole time saying how he's not at his best, and how he might slip up here etc etc.

Let's play hypotheticals. Federer wins, and everyone says they expected that, but what a performance from Bag-that-ass to get this far! Federer loses, and all of a sudden there is a new world champion.

No wonder the poor bastard couldn't help but cry after winning. He goes on to explain here that

"Being such a huge favourite had put so much pressure on me. And if I had lost it would have been the biggest upset since I don't know when. I can't remember when I had last been that nervous going into a match. And waiting all day for the night session, that was even more nerve-racking on top of it."

He's by far the best racquet-swinger running around at the moment. He's not a complete lunatic on the court (I'm looking at you Little). He's gracious in victory AND defeat (on the odd occasion that occurs). He gives so much more to the media than any others (read here).

How about next year we give him some more credit, eh?

Summer's Not Dead Yet

2006-01-16T08:52:00.000+08:00

White Ball: I've gotta be careful what I wish for, but it was kinda good to see the Saffy's win last night, at least to keep some interest in the series (sh*t, I'd never thought I'd say a South African win would be good to see).

To appease the media, Punter's come out and said that the "aggressive" batting would be reviewed. Don't hold your breath. With our fairly leaky bowling attack (M.C. Grath aside) and genuine batting depth, I reckon we'll always be better off batting first and bullying to a big total.

Two things came out of the game:
(1) Even Brett Lee is a better all-rounder than Watto (that now places Watto about 15th in the rankings of Aussie ODI all-rounders, somewhere behind Hussey, Clarke, Katich and Warne).

(2) I know they have a vested interest in holding on to viewers to the end of the game (apparently, there's idiots out there that can't change the channel at the end of a game to avoid watching News and a Crime Show - btw, I think that's Nine's new tagline for the year). Howevs, it really needs to be said that anything less than 100 runs off the last 10 overs with more than around 5 or 6 wickets in hand will ALMOST ALWAYS be chased successfully.

Sorry Tubby and Heals, ODI cricket has actually changed in the decade since you two buggered off. If anyone can remember multiple recent occasions where 70 or 80 runs weren't able to be chased in the last 10, comment me.

Yellow Ball: Ausopen starts today. Good article about that dude who married that Home and Away whore. My pick: A-Rod (I'll be putting $10 down today, spewing I didn't last Friday when he was paying about $8.00).

Nine's Cricket Coverage

2006-01-11T15:25:00.000+08:00

I assume most of my reader (not a typo) watched the slog-fest the other night on TV.

Nine have released a presser to The Age with some interesting promo of upcoming coverage gimmicks advances.

I thought the on-field interviews were great in that we finally got the idea that Graeme Smith isn't a total f**kwit, but I was better off not knowing what Roy Symonds sounded like (surprisingly ocker!).

And I'm convinced that Mark Nicholas, whilst never possibly being as good as, is an able replacement for Richie when he dies (which is surely only days away... have you seen him!).

Finally, I was glad to hear Slats commentating. I don't know if I share this viewpoint with many others, but I thought he was great on the Foxtel/Sky coverage of the Ashes, and his ABC radio work was just as good. In fact, if digital TV didn't have the half-second delay I'd have ABC on all the time.

Better still, we should be able to pick an "all-star" team of commentators. Mine (in no particular order):

Richie Benaud
Jim Maxwell and Kerry O'Keefe (must be on together)
Hashan Nahasapemapitilon (or whatever his name is)
Michael Slater
Peter Roebuck (short bursts only)
Mark Nicholas
Darren Lehmann
Glenn Mitchell

My to-be-taken-out-and-shot list (except that they would probably try and describe the shooting in obvious detail to you):

Ian Chappell
Tony Greig
Bill Lawry
Mark Taylor
Ian Healy

Have I missed anyone? Comment me!

Erlernen Sie Neue Wörter

2006-01-10T14:32:00.000+08:00

So I'm booking some accommodation in Berlin for next year, right.

(Did I mention that I'm going to the World Cup Quarter Final?)

And I've gone to this website to fill out details, pay a deposit etc for the apartment I'll be staying in for a couple of nights when I'm in Berlin to watch the World Cup Quarter Final

(Did I mention that I'm going to the World Cup Quarter Final?)

And, after filling out the form, I get this:

Disponibility? Those crazy Germans...

Hottest 100

2006-01-06T12:00:00.000+08:00

After just detoxing the liver from a week of drinking at Xmas/New Year, it's time to start warming up for the best BBQ of the year.

It basically consists of some poor bastard being gracious enough to invite me over for a Australia Day BBQ, me turning up and immediately hijacking the radio to JJJ to listen to Hottest 100, and then the other attendees repeatedly saying "Oh wow, I know this song! This is that new one they're playing on 92.9/96FM/Mix 94.5 etc etc".

By this stage, I've had about 8 Heinekens, and I'm telling them "Yeah right, f**knut! It's actually about 9 months old and they've been playing it on JJJ since then... blah blah..."

Quick Simpsons Quote:

While Marge collects the laundry, Bart asks if she saved Homer's love letters. She did, of course, although there's only one. And it's really a postcard from Duff Brewery. Bart reads it as Homer v.o.'s.
[sloppily scrawled]
Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won't quit. They got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr five dollars??!!!? Get outta here [scrawl]

So, here's the list of songs you WILL hear on the day. Krisko's Top 30 Prediction:

30. Cog My Enemy
29. Mountain Goats This Year
28. Jack Johnson Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
27. Living End What's On Your Radio
26. Green Day Boulevarde Of Broken Dreams
25. Mattafix Big City Life
24. Josh Pyke Middle Of The Hill
23. Pegz Back Then
22. Wolfmother Apple Tree
21. Faker The Familiar
20. Bernard Fanning Songbird
19. Gorillaz Feel Good Inc.
18. Franz Ferdinand Do You Want To
17. Giants Of Science Here Is The Punishment
16. System Of A Down Radio/Video
15. Queens Of The Stone Age Little Sister
14. Foo Fighters Best Of You
13. Coldplay Speed Of Sound
12. White Stripes My Doorbell
11. End Of Fashion O Yeah
10. Wolfmother Dimension
9. Kisschasy Do-Do's And Whoa-Oh's
8. Datarock Computer Camp Love
7. White Stripes Blue Orchid
6. Wolfmother Mind's Eye
5. Gorillaz Dare
3. Bernard Fanning Wish You Well
2. Wolfmother Joker & The Thief
1. Kanye West Gold Digger

And my actual Top 25 (like you care):

25. Kisschasy Do-Do's And Whoa-Oh's
24. Cloud Room Hey Now Now
23. Datarock Computer Camp Love
22. Maximo Park Apply Some Pressure
21. Martha Wainwright Bloody Mother F***ing Asshole
20. Rilo Kiley Portions For Foxes
19. Queens Of The Stone Age Everybody Knows That You Are Insane
18. System Of A Down Radio/Video
17. Coldplay Speed Of Sound
16. End Of Fashion O Yeah
15. Franz Ferdinand The Fallen
14. Wolfmother Dimension
13. Hot Hot Heat Middle Of Nowhere
12. Bloc Party Positive Tension
11. Wolfmother Joker & The Thief
10. Knife Heartbeats
9. Jose Gonzalez Heartbeats
8. White Stripes The Denial Twist
7. White Stripes Blue Orchid
6. Gorillaz Feel Good Inc.
5. Gorillaz Dare
4. Kanye West Gold Digger
3. Kanye West Diamonds From Sierra Leone
2. Wolfmother Mind's Eye
1. Bernard Fanning Wish You Well

And the other thing I always end up doing on Hottest 100 Day is bitterly complaining about some of the songs getting there. This year, they will be:

Cog My Enemy - This mob are a classic example of the preferential treatment JJJ (and by default, it's many listeners like myself) give to Australian bands who really don't deserve it.
Gyroscope Fast Girl - Nope, this is an even better (or is that worse?) example of the preferential treatment.
Mattafix Big City Life - Now this I just don't get. Every time it's been played in the last couple of months, the DJ has back-announced about how good the song is and how it gets so many phone calls blah blah blah f**king blah. Why? It really is nothing special...

So, who's inviting me 'round this year???

Not yet...

2005-12-14T13:52:00.000+08:00

Gotta wait 'til 2006, dude!